The Secret Lives of Air Marshals

Do you know who you’re sitting next to on the plane? How do you know that he or she is who they appear to be? Relax; sometimes that’s a good thing. That’s because that sly character sitting next to you could very well be an air marshal, and in the United States they’re known as Federal Air Marshals (FAMs).

They’re considered the best of the best. Because they’re intended to handle dangerous altercations within the bounds of the passenger fuselage, it is integral that they are among the top ranked in handgun accuracy. Every one of them is required to take the Law Enforcement Officers Flying Armed training course, which prepares them for weapons handling, prisoner transport, and how to deal with criminal acts of violence.

But it’s not all sunshine and James Bond heroics. Some air marshals have found themselves in pretty embarrassing situations.

Take the situation of two FAMs on a flight to Brazil. While not a dramatic breach of security, they encountered an intoxicated woman trying to raid the beverage cart for her own personally whipped up cocktail. Upon confrontation by the FAMs she became combative and was subsequently arrested.

Another drunk bites the dust and everyone goes home safe… right? Well, not quite. When you’re the wife of a prominent Brazilian judge, your word against the FAMs carries a little more clout.

In this case, the FAMs found themselves on the other side of the conflict, with Brazilian officials suddenly fingering THEM for assault charges. Instead of face what they thought were bogus charges, the air marshals left using “alternate travel documents.”

When they’re not being unfairly wrangled into international turmoil, they’re creating justifiable international turmoil. For example: normally, forgetting something when you travel won’t turn into any kind of notable incident, unless you happen to forget those bullets and gun magazines suspiciously concealed in the air vents of your New Delhi hotel room.

When one absent-minded FAM checked out without checking around, the situation caused quite the stir. Housekeepers heard his ammo rattling in the air duct of the room that was now being occupied by Italian businessmen.

After they were hastily rounded up and grilled, it soon became clear that the former occupier of the room was to blame. This incident definitely killed two birds with one stone in angering members of the international community, the Italians for the shakedown, and Indian officials for total disregard of gun laws.

Unfortunately, there are many more tales of woe amongst FAMs, including the smuggling of drugs, money, and even explosives. Many argue that the agency has gotten too big for its britches after a tidal wave of funding followed Sept. 11. News media have put out stories of employees with criminal records and unprofessional conduct in the higher ranks. So, even if the passenger sitting next to you is a FAM, maybe you should still be wondering about them.

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